gnawruto:

foodtrucker:

I manage to turn everything into crap wow

yes that’s called digestion

(Source: foodtrucker)

264,894 notes

  • Me: If I ever get published, I'm going to write fanfiction for my own books
  • Me: And then reviewers will be like, "Omg that's totally out of canon."
  • Me: And I'll be like, "Bitch, I am the canon."

52,847 notes

bootsi:

I won’t take selfies with other people y’all don’t know my angles

208,554 notes

jalapenopizza:

isnt it odd how the human mind expands inwardly forever

i can build characters and worlds and universes and define new laws of nature

construct stories and timelines and fit it all together inside my own head

and yet i can’t draw a fUCKING LAMP

169,712 notes

aresnakesreal:

like imagine if you’d never seen a dog and you saw a saint bernard and you were like, what’s that and then someone was like, thats a dog. and then you saw a chihuahua and you were like ok whats that and they were like, that’s a dog. wouldn’t you feel lied to? wouldn’t you sense that something was amiss

111,589 notes

d0nn0:

d0nn0:

i wrote a song about a tortilla

actually its more of a wrap

(Source: d0nn0)

248,263 notes

nickelbackthatassup:

LISTEN HERE PUNK i rlly like your hair and ur taste in music is pretty cool too do u want to be friends

105,625 notes

thevolutionofnerdy:

lesbianvenom:

i imagine severus snape going to the afterlife and seeing lily for the first time and he’s all happy but then lily starts repeatedly kicking snape in the shins and screeching “how dare you treat my son that way" and that’s basically their relationship for all eternity

Yes. please.

59,769 notes

so at the garden i work at there are these flowers called sugardaddies and this one old lady i work with was transplanting them and when she was finished she had to mark them down and said “okay now i have twelve sugardaddies!!!” and just went back to work

but-i-knew-him:

sebastian stan has made out with more boys then I have

5,562 notes

chauvinistsushi:

smatter:

guys read the fine print its hilarious

BY THE POWER OF ROCK BALLADS

(Source: bluebombardier)

150,774 notes

broadway-aradia:

i really want to carry a torch in a cave just like one time

275,220 notes